Ok, from the very beginning let me be open. I enjoy riding my two-wheeler, and driving the one on four. There is nothing else that gives me as much of a buzz, an adrenaline rush or makes me feel worth a gazillion bucks as driving. It was a startling phenomenon when I first experienced this feeling, cos as far as I was concerned, it was impossible to attain this level of satisfaction in anything at all; albeit, relieving yourself after holding it for a while or during , you know, s%@ (you got my drift, right!!).

I was willing to give up a limb in exchange for having this feeling perennially by my side. But for those who believe in shit happening, it won’t come as a surprise that Newton’s law took effect (this one being, “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction”).Or maybe in this instance it isn’t Newton who is ruining the party but our very own ‘Murphy’, who said “if anything can wrong, it will”, or words to that effect.

The situation out there has gotten real dreadful. It is something like ‘having to hold yourself for so long, that finally relieving yourself is no longer gratifying, but rather excruciatingly painful’. The ecstasy and kick that I derived out of driving, has been relegated to a place similar to that of having a ‘hard-on’ once annually (ouch!!). The feeling of joy and euphoria experienced in the past (similar to being physically satisfied), that made me flush every single time at the end of a ride (pun not intended), has now concocted itself into a visage of anger and murderous rage.

I now know what premeditated manslaughter must feel like, cos I’ve caught myself thinking about running a few people over in this uncontrollable fury. For those of you unacquainted with me, this is a brief description… I am a docile, calm individual who has never gotten into a fist fight in his entire life. Thus, for me to plot bloody murder is not just surprising, but indicative of needing psychiatric help. From two, three, four and how many ever wheels a vehicle careens on, everyone follows one basic rule…break all the rules.

At least we all agree on something, huh!! I understand that the city is a hub of population influx and a melting pot of various communities, but does that validate taking my eternal bliss, my reverence of driving, putting it into a grinder and coming out with mushy unintelligible stuff like our very own ‘double ka meetha’, minus the ‘meetha’ and double on the anger?

If there was one motto that I followed blindly, it was the HARLEY DAVIDSON’S “LIVE TO RIDE, RIDE TO LIVE”. But if whoever coined that phrase was to have a look at the state of our traffic, the poor ole bugger would flip in his grave. R.I.P old man, cos we up here most definitely aren’t getting any of it!

“MERA BHARAT MAHAN!”
“JAI HIND!”

"MERRY CHRISTMAS"

P.S:- About all the sexual innuendos and some ungentlemanly language in this blog… I sincerely apologize. None of it was accidental, it was all exceedingly indispensable. And about me having homicidal tendencies…NOBODY IS PERFECT, RIGHT!